Stop and Stare
by CrackedPorcelainDreams
Summary: Kurt returns to Lima for a ten year high school reunion. The past years of his life have been anything but perfect. What happens when he meets an ex-lover and an ex-bully who both want him? WARNING POSSIBLE TRIGGERS: Death, attempted suicide, rape.


Hello! Thank you for checking out my story. This is my first so please be a little kind.

Send a couple of reviews my way if you can, I would love you forever! Now without any further wait, I present chapter 1.

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><p>Chapter One: Memories Drawn in Dust<p>

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><p>Kurt stared out the window of his cab, the snow covered earth making him shiver. Lima Ohio looked as bleak as he often recalled. but even through the winter wonderland he could spot the occasional landmark. A few towns back he had passed Dalton Academy, his heart hadn't stopped aching. slowly he pulled his glasz eyes from the window, not wanting to see the world outside any more than he honestly had to. As painful as New York was, Lima was so much worse. where his apartment had a year or two of memories, his hometown had a life times of ghosts, skeletons his closet he'd forgotten to bury long ago. "Just pull over in the driveway, please?" He called up to the driver, grabbing his bag, shouldering it as he dug through a side pocket. As the car pulled over Kurt just handed him his credit card, letting him swipe it before writing a tip on a small bit of paper while the cab driver grabbed his bags. Opening his side door he stepped out, feet touching the fresh snow, breath passing over his lips in a fog. There was a small lump in his throat upon seeing the old house. Giving the driver a little nod he grabbed his bags, making his way up the drive way. A faint image passing over his vision, unable to shake it from his mind.<p>

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><p>"<em>If you don't hurry we're gonna be late!" "We'll I'm sorry, I had to fix my outfit." He felt someone pull him from behind, a pair of arms around his waist. A chin nestled in the crook of his neck, soft lips against his skin. "You looked perfect then and you look perfect now." Running his fingers through the semi-curly hair Kurt felt a smile on his lips. "If I didn't know better Blaine Anderson I'd think you were flirting with me." Slowly he felt the grip lessen on his person, allowing him to turn around and place his arms around the other boy's neck."Me? No. No. Did it work?" "Doesn't it always?" His eyes fluttered closed, their lips pressing against each other, the kiss soft. Perfect..<em>

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><p>He could feel the tears in his eyes, he tried to shove them away as he walked briskly up the steps of the old house, not even bothering to knock. "Dad? Carole?" The house seemed empty, thank God. Letting out a breath he closed the door behind him, walking to the living room and putting his bags down. "Dad? Carole?" Walking through the house he stopped just inside of the kitchen, seeing the note on the counter.<p>

'_Kurt, knew you were gonna be home. Went to the store to get food for you. Be home at five. Love, Mom and Dad.'_

He glanced at the clock on the wall, 3:30 P.M. With a half grunt he tossed the note, going back to retrieve his bags, trying to ignore how much his home had changed. Not that it was bad, Carole had done wonders to the poor place. It was just different. Kurt didn't really enjoy change as much as he used to. The descent to his room felt longer than it used to. When his feet hit the final step he glanced around, letting out a loud sigh. Not much had changed other than the thin film of dust over everything. His eyes narrowed. Not much had changed...He tossed his bags before rushing to his bedside, grabbing the photo frame, glaring down at it. His prom photo. With his shaking hands he ripped open the drawer to his nightstand, shoving the frame inside. _"Everything changed.."_ He thought to himself before sitting on the edge of his bed.

The room felt so empty, the gray making it more drab than he remembered it. How many years had it been since he sat here? Five? No, ten. Ten whole years. He glanced down at his hands, ignoring the two rings on a single finger. They showed a little aging, but not much. Twenty eight years old. He remembered ten years ago he had his whole life planned. Down to the very outfits he would wear for weeks on end. Now he was lucky to plan an outfit two or three days in advance. Pulling his phone from his pocket he glanced through his messages, typing out a quick message to Rachel.

_To: Ray-Ray_

_**I need a drink, are you in town yet? xoxo~**_

With a grunt he tossed his phone to his side, getting off the bed. there were so many pictures on the walls. Arms folded over his chest he examined each one. Every glee club meet, every performance, everything they had ever shared together. The only person who was in more pictures than he was...He averted his eyes. Why did they keep those things up? After all the letters and phone calls he had sent home. His eyes drifted to a corner of the room, able to see the boxes stacked high, covered with a sheet. They'd sat unattended for eight years. He didn't have the heart to open them. A buzz sent him jumping out of his own skin, grabbing his phone from the bed.

_From: Ray-Ray_

_You, too? Scandals? Pick you up in five?_

_To:Ray-Ray_

_**Oh my god yes please. Get me the hell out of here, I'll be outside.**_

Sliding his phone in his pocket he pulled his jacket closer to his body, nearly sprinting out of the house and from the driveway as fast as he could. The air felt tight in his lungs, like he couldn't get away from the memories fast enough. The images haunting the back of his mind. With quivering knees he waited, an angry look upon his features. Up until the very minute the pristine black Mazda pulled up in front of him, the window rolling down to reveal the smiling brunette. "Hey hot stuff, how much?" With a gentle laugh Kurt leaned in the window. "You couldn't afford me young lady." With a pout she looked away for a minute, "Buy you the first round?" Contemplating he shot her a smile back before opening the car door, their arms wrapping around each other. "Rachel...How I missed you." "The feeling is mutual, I assure you." She said after the hug, pushing the car into drive as he rolled up her window. She caught a glance of his left hand, a soft sigh making the air in the car tense. "Kurt..." He held up his hand, silencing her prying thoughts. "Later, right now I just...Ugh, I don't need to be in Lima." She cast him a doubtful look. "Like Lima is the worst of your concerns right now."

Furrowing his eyebrows together he stared at her, Rachel giving him a sideways look. "I got a copy of who all is coming." A groan erupted from his lips as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "You mean besides people I give a shit about?" "Kurt." "Sorry, give a crap about." "Better, and yes." Letting his elbow rest against the window he put his chin in his hand, watching her drive. "Let me guess...Rhymes with Plain Blanderson." The giggle wasn't unexpected, just a little unwelcome. Rachel tried to wave it off, muttering sorry under her breath, but nodding her head. "Great..." He glared out the window, his eyes trying to melt the icy earth. "Kurt...He'll be too busy..." "Yea I know, talking about his amazing husband." The bitterness was so heavy in his voice it could have dripped from his mouth and stained the dark red shirt he wore under his black jacket. If there was one thing he regretting more helping Blaine graduate a year early it would be introducing Blaine to his current husband.

The car ride was silent after that until they reached the only bar Kurt didn't mind being in. Ohio was not know for very classy places, or at least, he hadn't found any. Scandals was about as low as it could get, and he didn't mind. Plus it was one of the few places he could get Rachel drunk enough and watch her dance with a Reba impersonator who carried a bigger package than he did. Flashing his I.D. they walked right up to the bar, Kurt taking a familiar seat, putting his elbows on the hard counter top, waving down the bartender. "Kurt, Kurt." Rachel tugged on his shirt sleeve and he glanced at her. "Hm?" "Is that...?" His eyes bulged slightly, a faint laugh escaping from the both of them. "Dave Karofsky?" Kurt covered his face, acting like he had not seen the other man. "Oh my god..." They both giggled softly.

Dave Karofsky was on the other side of the bar, sitting in a booth with a few other guys, laughing. Since high school he had lost a good amount of his baby fat, growing in to his form. He was still big, and burly, but Kurt was sure he could cut a diamond on his muscles. Fanning himself he grabbed the two martini's from the bar, handing on to Rachel. They clinked their glasses together before turning around, watching everyone dancing. Now and again Kurt's eyes would slip and he'd catch himself staring at the former bully turned hottie. "He sees you." Rachel said, taking a sip of her drink, glancing up at Kurt. Rolling his eyes, he tried to busy his eyes with something else. "Kurt he's staring." His eyes shot up and their gazes locked. He felt his cheeks go bright red, Dave flashing him a smile, raising his glass as a hello. Kurt gave him a little lift of his glass before turning to Rachel, a huge smile on his face. she gave him a knowing look and he just jammed her with his elbow. "I gotta go powder my nose, watch my drink." He said softly, putting it behind him as he walked to the bathroom, putting a little something extra in the way his hips moved just in case someone was watching.

The trip was short, mostly just to double check that his hair was still in place. The style hadn't changed much since his senior year, he found it fit his face nicely. Though he had filled out a little, muscle, but not so well defined that he looked like all the other guys. He still had a boyish figure about him and his clothing was still as flamboyant as ever. That night he wore a dark red shirt, his key ring tie with the black vest, the tightest black pants he could have squeezed into and wingtip shoes. In other words, like always, he was the hottest piece of man in Lima Ohio.

His trip back to the dance floor came with an unexpected sight. Apparently Rachel had a few more while he was away, her normal Reba impersonator replaced with a rather bulky Lady Gaga. He gave a slight shrug to his shoulders, going back to his chair, ordering another when someone sat beside him. "I haven't seen you around here for awhile, Fancy." his ears perked slightly as he lifted his head. "Dave..." His voice was breathless, like someone had knocked the air from him at the sight of the bigger boy's smirk. "Hey you remembered my name." Kurt rolled his eyes, quickly looking down at his crossed arms on the bar. "Of course I did, you left quite the impression." when his drink came Dave ordered another beer, the scene becoming a bit too familiar. out of sheer panic Kurt glanced over his shoulder, expecting to see Blaine grinding against Sebastian. thankfully it was just a memory and wouldn't be happening anytime soon. "You all right?" Kurt nodded his head, flashing a faked smile at the other. "Peachy...You in town for the reunion?" Dave gave a shrug and a laugh, "About the only reason any of us come back unless we have to." His drink couldn't come fast enough, Kurt was downing it like water, trying to ignore Rachel's giggles in the background. "How's life?" Kurt nearly choked on his drink, like it was the funniest question he had ever heard. Dave gave him an off look before pointing at his hand. "You married Anderson?" Well, it had been the funniest question until then.

"N-no. Not married..." He said, half laughing, half trying not to puke his guts out at the thought. Kurt just found himself unable to ever take the damn things off. He only did when he washed his hands or showered, any time after that they were constantly on him. The doctors couldn't even pry them from his hand after...He stared down into his glass like he'd seen the face of Jesus in his olive. Not daring to lift his head and see the look he was getting he just tried to tough through it. "So..Lemme guess. Sports Agent?" There was laughter above him and he finally gained the cour- balls to look at the other man. "Yep. Because of you." He watched as the other dug through his jacket pocket before pulling out a little business card. Kurt let it slip between his fingers, glancing over it with a smile. There was a sudden howl from the dance floor that came speeding to Kurt, Rachel grabbing his arm as a song started. "Come on. Dance! It's your song!" Kurt looked at Dave, pleading for help. they both set their drinks aside, Rachel holding Kurt by his keyring, Dave just tagging along behind the duo.

Being on the dance floor was more of a rush than he had expected it to be. Between having Rachel grind against him and the occasional brush from Dave there wasn't much more that made his night. For a good hour he forgot about the world, lost in a drunken haze of sweaty bodies and loud music. Sometime during the madness he and Dave grew closer until they were basically upon each other, bodies pressed together. He could feel hands on part of him that hadn't been touched in years. Kurt had been pulling moves that hadn't been seen since his twenty-first birthday. Their foreheads touched as the music began to calm itself, Dave's hands planted firmly against his ass. He could have stayed like that, his finger woven through the dark brown hair, their lips hovering against one another. Right there, he would have never complained, being that close to another man.

But Rachel wasn't about to have that. He could hear her giggles from behind him and then a topple. With a pained whimper he pried himself from the grip, helping her from the floor. "Kurt." He picked up his head, Rachel's arms flopping around on his, her hand landing against his face, trying to hush him. Dave was trying not to laugh, covering his mouth. "Coffee, tomorrow?" It was a struggle to get her to stand. "Yea that'd be-" She flopped back to the floor, he sighed. "Great. I'll call you ok?" The other man just nodded, going to the bar to pay for their drinks while Kurt dragged his friend from the bar and to her car. It was a rather long ride home, trying to focus on the road, listening to Rachel belt out show tunes while she tied Finn in with every one. She went on about how wonderful he was and how they were trying for kids. It was all he could do to not pull the car over and just walk home. He had become so sick of hearing how wonderful everyone else was, how amazing their lovers were. When all he had was a lifetime of broken promises and happy endings that were ripped from his hands.

"He likes you." Kurt glanced at Rachel, "What?" "Dave..." There was a laugh that filled the whole car, "Oh, how I've missed your insanity." "I'm not...crazy Kurt..he likes you." "Why would he?" "Because you're beautiful." "And you're drunk." Pulling up outside of the Berry-Hudson household Kurt helped her inside, keeping her keys in hand. She wouldn't be going for any joy riding and he wasn't sleeping on their couch. "Good night Ray." He kissed her cheek once she was inside the doorway. When he turned to leave she grabbed his shirt, "He likes you...Mark my words." "Uh-huh, good night Rachel." He was greeted by the slam of a door, rolling his eyes.

Getting home could not have taken any longer and by the time he rolled back into the basement it was 2 A.M. Burt and Carole had gone to bed hours before, leaving a loving note on his door that he just ignored. It was too early for that crap. Tossing Rachel's keys on the nightstand he undressed himself, skipping his moisturizing routine and just laying down on the bed. It felt weird. No matter where he was he was always in a bed that had been shared with someone else. Closing his eyes Kurt pulled a pillow close, quickly regretting it when a whiff of a familiar scent filled his nose. It shot across the room and he just let his face rest against the mattress, falling asleep as he normally did. Tears staining the sheets and leaving his eyes puffy for the next morning. He dreamed of Blaine's arms wrapped around his body, holding him against his chest, whispering those beautiful lies into his ears. As he lost consciousness the one lie he had heard a thousand times filled his head, 

_"I love you Kurt..."_


End file.
